Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Fun With Puns

Below are sentences that make clever use of puns to communicate ambiguity. If you had paid attention in English classes, you would most likely enjoy them. Here goes:

01. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference, who acquired his size from too much pi.

02. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

03. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

04. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turn out to be an optical Aleutian.

05. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

06. A football fan wondered why the ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit him.

07. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to hospital. When his grandmother phoned to enquire about his condition, a nurse said, "No change yet."

08. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

09. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray attacks is now a seasoned veteran.

10. A backward poet writes inverse.

11. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

12. A hole has been found on the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

13. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

14. A one-handed man is crossing the road to get to the second-hand shop.

15. A dog gave birth to puppies by the road and was cited for littering.

16. Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

17. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

18. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

20. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

21. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

22. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre: "Keep Off The Grass".

23. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

24. Don't join dangerous cults; Practice safe sects.

25. The most important part of a car is the nut that holds the steering-wheel.

Hope you had had fun and enjoyed reading them as much as I do posting them. Do you have any favourite? Personally, mine is the last one and I quote it often. Have a nice day, come rain or shine. CIAO!

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