Saturday, October 31, 2009

No AP So What, Got NAP Mah!

The place: A village in Ulu Selangor.

The people: Ahmad and the village chief.

"Ahmad, why did you fell the durian trees behind your house? Are you going to build another new house there?"

"No, Penghulu, I'm not building a house but a factory!"

"Factory? What kind of factory?"

"Car factory."

"Ahmad, you want to build a car factory right here?"

"Exactly! And it's going to be a factory producing green cars running on bio-fuel. It'll be the first of its kind in Malaysia... no, in the world!"

"Ahmad, you really get me confused. It's weird enough to build a car factory here, let alone a factory of... what colour did you say?"

"Penghulu, you're really behind time lah! This is the latest technology, meaning the cars produced in my plant do not run on petrol."

"Not on petrol. Then on what?"

"I've thought about it. We can use the goreng pisang leftover oil. Don't we have plenty of goreng pisang here? The leftover oil can be used by my cars!"

"Can this kind of oil be made into a fuel for cars? Moreover, it is not even green in colour!"

"Aye! Penghulu. I meant environment-friendly when I said 'green’. The oil is actually palm oil, and could be re-used after goreng pisang. I'm sure it's environment-friendly."

"What made you come up with such a funny idea?"

"The national automotive policy announced by the government yesterday encourages the establishment of environment-friendly car factories. As rakyat we must throw our full support behind the government's initiatives. Moreover, the government is giving out all kinds of incentives for it!"

"It's good to support the government, but do you have the money and know-how?"

"Technology, not yet, but money should not be a problem."

"Not a problem? You're building a car factory, not a workshop!"

"I've done the calculation. With all kinds of loans and incentives, I think five million should be sufficient."

"Five million? you think the government and banks will lend you that money?"

"After cutting these durian trees, I'll fence up the area, and invite a minister and reporters to the launch, and then take the photographs and news reports to get the loan. It's going to be okay!"

"What makes you think the minister and newspapers will believe you?"

"Don't you remember, Penghulu? Last time someone said he invented a car that runs on tap water, and the PM then officiated the launching ceremony and newspapers wrote about it."

"Indeed. But even with the loan secured, how are you going to produce that kind of cars?"

"Penghulu, when I get the five million, I'll go get two Ferraris, one running on petrol, for myself; I'll pour leftover oil into the other one. As for whether it'll run, I'm not sure."

"You're a genius, Mat. Will you take me as your partner?"

By: Tay Tian Yan -

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