The Dying Priest

The old priest lay dying in the hospital..

For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see Khairy and Samy before I
die", whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a
response. Soon the word arrived. Khairy and Samy would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Khairy commented to Samy, "I
don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images."

Samy couldn't help but agree.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Samy's
hand in his right hand and Khairy's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Samy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have
chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the
end?"

The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

The old priest continued..."He died between two lying thieves.
I would like to do the same."

Sadistic Chefs

How cruel can some people be? This video answers that, come rain or shine!

First Malaysian In Space

Dr M was about to send the first Malaysian man into space.

Three potential astronauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.

Dr M interviewed the Indian first: "So, Kumar, this is a dangerous mission ... how much do you think you should be paid for it?"

Kumar thought for a while and said, "One million ringgit."

"Why so much?" asked Dr M.

"Nowadays toddy very expensive, Sir..." replied Kumar.

"I see," said Dr M. "Thank you... please ask the Malay guy to come here."

So the Malay walked up, and was asked the same question.

"Uh... Dua million boleh lah," replied Ahmad, the Malay applicant.

"Dua million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only asked for one million!"

"You see, Dr," explained Ahmad. "I have four wives and 15 children...so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves..."

"I see," said Dr M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come in now?"

The Chinese guy came in and Dr M asked, "Ah Kow, this is a dangerous mission ... how much do you think you should be paid?"

Ah Kow thought for a while, and suddenly said, "Three million."

Dr M was shocked. "WHAT!!! Three million? Why so much?!"

Ah Kow beckoned Dr M to come closer, and whispered,

"One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send the aneh into space."

Happy 85th Birthday Uncle

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Early birthday surprise for Chin Peng

Friends held an early birthday celebration for Chin Peng yesterday. — Picture by Debra Chong

By Debra Chong

BANGKOK, Oct 15 — Ong Boon Hua, or more commonly known as Chin Peng, got an early surprise last night when several friends threw a dinner party for his 85th birthday at a Japanese restaurant here.

The former secretary-general of the outlawed Communist Party of Malaya was born on the 21st day of the ninth lunar month in 1924, according to the Chinese calendar. By his family’s reckoning, the date is equivalent to Oct 19.

Ong grew up in a large working-class family which did not believe in celebrating birthdays, let alone having cake. Surprisingly, Malaysia’s former Public Enemy No.1 has a sweet tooth.

He received a box of Godiva chocolates and was treated to a fruit meringue cake, which he heartily devoured.

Eyebrows were raised, however, at the choice of restaurant.

But the anti-colonialist who also waged guerrilla attacks against the Japanese during World War Two, said: “This is not my first time eating Japanese food. I can eat both Asian and European.”

Ailing Uncle Is Homesick

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Once feared, now just homesick

Once feared as ‘Chin Peng’, Ong Boon Hua now prefers ‘not to touch on old wood’.

By Debra Chong

BANGKOK, Oct 14 – Years of living on the move and in the jungle have exacted a toll on the man known as Chin Peng.

The former secretary-general of the Communist Party of Malaya (CPM) now stands with a stoop. He is unable to keep his posture upright and slides down on the cushion when seated for too long.

Pained by gout, he shuffles about unsteadily on socks-clad feet encased in well-padded sandals, leaning heavily on the arms of distant relatives who accompany him wherever he goes. He is on medication for the condition and has to follow a strict diet. His skin sags on his large frame.

These days, he dreams more and more of sitting in the little coffeeshop in his hometown of Sitiawan, Perak, where he can enjoy a cup of tea with kaya on toast and catch up on life with old friends and older school teachers, he told The Malaysian Insider here in an interview.

He last saw his relatives – his siblings, nephews and nieces – in Singapore two years ago in a reunion that brought together his clan, the Ongs, and his late wife’s family, the Lees.

He still keeps in touch with his compatriots in the CPM who were allowed home, like chairman Abdullah CD. The last contact was through an e-mail exchange earlier this year. Failing health on both sides prevents visits.

The man born Ong Boon Hua is homesick.

But the Malaysian government has not allowed him to return for a variety of reasons despite inking two peace treaties with him and the Thai government in 1989, effectively marking the end of the insurgency.

Chief among them is to spare the victims and survivors of the bloody, brutal communist campaign during Chin Peng’s insurgency from having relive the nightmare years.

“THIS IS CHIN PENG. The brains behind the terrorism in Malaya, he is worth $250,000 to anyone who has information which will lead to his capture,” blared a front page caption under his mugshot in The Straits Times on May 1, 1952.

The bounty posted by the colonial British government would be worth millions in today’s ringgit, Chin Peng’s lawyer, Chan Kok Keong, estimates.

There are also claims today that he will lead another communist uprising against the government if he is allowed back.

But Chin Peng – who today has reverted to his birth name – denies them.

While he maintains that he is still a communist, he says he was done leading “any group to challenge any government” from the day he inked the agreement to lay down arms in Haadyai on Dec 2, 1989.

He admits to having always had some reservations that the government may not live up to its end of the bargain but explained that, at that time, he had observed the government’s attitude during negotiations and saw they were “sincere” in seeking peace.

When asked today, Ong said that it is possible to arrive at peace through talks instead of violence with a victor-vanquished ending, but added that all sides must be able to sit down at the table on an equal footing.

He also pointed out that reaching an agreement was one thing; experiencing the effects was another.

“After that, another matter whether they stick to their promise and honour the treaty, you see,” he smiled.

“I prefer not to touch on old wood,” he added, indicating that he wished to drop the subject.

He just wants to be able to go home and live the rest of his life in peace, he stressed.

He is nearing the end of his tether with challenging the government, too, he hinted.

Asked how far he plans to take his last legal fight to go home, Ong thought deep and long before saying: “I have no intention to bring the case to the International Court.”

“I don’t see any hope the International Court can force the Malaysian government to change their attitude,” he replied after another long pause.

Asked about his plans to write a second book, Ong smiled.

“I’m getting older and older,” he said and paused. “My memory is also getting quite poor now,” he added, and paused again.

“It will take time to review in the proper order,” he went on. “Besides that, I think it’s better not to get into an argument anymore,” he continued.

“People may not agree with me and then debate on it. It’s useless to do these things unless it is unavoidable,” he said.

Asked what he meant, he explained: “People try to provoke you. Then I have to reply. Can’t keep quiet.”

But when pushed to give an example of what he would do if he was allowed to return home but was confronted over his past actions, Ong looked visibly distressed.

He frowned, rubbed his face and pinched the bridge of his nose repeatedly.

“I try my best not to worry about that,” he said, finally.

He tires easily. It has been a long time since he last spoke to reporters.

Uncle Yearns For Home

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Chin Peng’s last fight — to be buried in Sitiawan

By Debra Chong

BANGKOK, Oct 14 — Ong Boon Hua, once the country’s “Public Enemy No 1” for leading a bloody communist insurgency before laying down arms 20 years ago, says he only wishes to die a Malaysian and be buried next to his grandfather and father in Sitiawan, Perak.

“Call me Uncle Ong,” the frail-looking old man with thinning, white hair told The Malaysian Insider in an interview here this week.

Better known by his alias Chin Peng, he was the last leader of the Communist Party of Malaya (CPM) and is once again at the centre of much controversy in Malaysia, the land of his birth.

He wishes to go home but the Malaysian government will not let him.

Last month, he challenged the government for going back on the agreement with him and the Thai government, made 20 years ago in Haadyai to allow all Malaysian communists who desired it to return home and live in peace.

The High Court in Kuala Lumpur tossed out his suit without calling for a trial.

Judge Datuk Balia Yusof Wahi ruled that Ong was suing the government for defamation but had no grounds to argue his case because it was a known fact that he had committed “evil” acts during the 12 years of the Emergency after World War Two (WW2).

Several key players who brokered the deal on behalf of the Malaysian government, including former Inspector-General of Police, Tan Sri Rahim Noor, who were waiting to testify in support of Chin Peng – or ”Uncle Ong” as he wishes to be known now – never got their day in court.

Speaking to The Malaysian Insider at the hotel where he is put up, just next door to the British High Commission here, the anti-colonialist explained why he is so adamant about returning to Sitiawan, Perak.

“It’s my birthright,” said Ong, who will be turning 85 in five days.

“I’m getting older and older. My home is in Malaysia,” he said, rubbing his hand repeatedly over his face.

He added that he wishes to spend the rest of his twilight years catching up with his family and his childhood friends on home turf, and to be laid to rest beside his grandfather and father.

When asked why he did not simply slip back into the country as he did years ago as a guerrilla fighter, if he truly wished to go home and lead a peaceful life, Ong shot back: “You mean by smuggling in?”

Ong, who has been described by both his former enemies and allies as an “honest man” appears unable to abide anything less than “honourable”, even as the front doors to his return are being shut and barred one by one.

His suit against the Malaysian government, he claims, is two-fold: to get legal recognition as a lawful citizen of Malaysia; and to gain lawful recognition as someone who has contributed to the country.

He sees himself as a “resistance fighter” and a third-generation Malaysian even though the country went by Malaya before his exile.

“The country is still the same. First, I’m Malayan. But since the country has changed to Malaysia, so I’m Malaysian. I can’t say I don’t want to be Malaysian,” he laughed.

But he still holds to his communist faith.

“Communism is an ideology. Being a communist is fighting for the welfare of poor people,” he explained.

Asked if he viewed US President Barack Obama’s statement to “spread the wealth” as akin to communism, Ong nodded his head and laughed, seemingly tickled by the irony.

His views on communism, however, have mellowed over the years.

Some parties have painted him as anti-monarchy.

Ong no longer sees a need to copy the People’s Republic of China and oust the sultans from their posts as rulers in Malaysia.

At breakfast this morning, he was approached by a Malaysian lawyer, who sought his views to petition Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak to allow him home.

Chin Peng, is sorely disappointed with the Malaysian government for breaking its side of the two peace contracts made with him and the Thai government in 1989. — Picture by Debra Chong

Ong neither agreed nor objected to the project.

Najib has hinted that Ong is unlikely to be allowed home because of the overwhelming objection against him as the leader of an outlawed political party that perpetrated atrocities against Malaysians — largely against the Malay community.

Ong who has been “homeless” for decades feels he is blocked from stepping foot on Malaysian soil because of the race factor.

“If I’m Malay, it would be very much easier for me... Unfortunately, I’m not Malay,” he said.

“Umno’s policy is very much influenced by ‘racialist’ sentiments,” he added.

Ong is sorely disappointed with former premier, Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamed, for failing to do anything to enable his return during the latter’s administration.

The Haadyai peace accords were signed in 1989, and according to insiders, was mooted by Dr Mahathir.

“But I don’t know the real situation. Maybe he was under much pressure,” Ong said.

He is aware that the legal avenues are fast closing.

Is there a Plan B?

Ong rubs his face while considering the question. After a long pause, he replies: “No. No Plan B. Have to persist to go back.”

Just A 1Malaysia Joke

An Indian, a Chinese and a Malay were involved in a terrible car accident. As they were being brought to the emergency room, all of them died. Just as a hospital personnel was about to put the toe tag on the Chinese, he stirred and opened his eyes. The doctors and nurses present were astonished and asked him what had happened. "Well," said the Chinese, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Indian and the Malay and I were standing at the gates of heaven. An Angel approached us and said that we were too young to die, and that for a donation of RM500 each, we could all return to earth. So, of course I pulled out my wallet and gave the Angel RM500 and the next thing I knew, here I am!" "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors. "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them" replied the Chinese, "The Indian was bargaining over the price, and the Malay was waiting for the government to pay for him."